Life is a team sport? Finding Coaches, Cheerleaders, and Navigating the Rest.

Life is a team sport, and the people around you play key roles in your success—or sometimes, in your setbacks. Whether they’re Cheerleaders, Coaches, Commentators, or Critics, understanding these roles can help you build a support system that truly lifts you up. Here’s how to find and appreciate the right people in your life while setting boundaries with those who hold you back.

How to Find the Right Coach

A great Coach is like a guide—they see your potential and help you reach it. But finding a Coach isn’t always straightforward. Here are some practical steps:

• Look for experience and alignment:

  
  

  Seek out people who’ve walked the path you’re aiming for. They don’t need to have all the answers, but they should understand your goals and be committed to helping you grow.

• Start with mentors in your circle:

  
  

  Your ideal Coach could be closer than you think. A boss, colleague, or even a friend with relevant expertise might be willing to guide you. Don’t be afraid to ask—mentorship often starts with a simple conversation.

• Invest in professional coaching:

  
  

  If you’re ready to level up, hiring a professional coach can be transformative. Research their credentials, read reviews, and, most importantly, ensure their coaching style resonates with you.

How to Discern Real Cheerleaders

Cheerleaders are the emotional backbone of your support system. They lift you up when you’re down and celebrate your victories like they’re their own. But how do you tell genuine cheerleaders from those who mean well but don’t quite align with your goals?

• Look for consistency:

  
  

  A true Cheerleader will show up for you, not just when things are going well but when you’re struggling too. Their support is steady, not conditional.

• Pay attention to alignment:

  
  

  Are they cheering for your dreams, or are they pushing you toward something they think is best? Genuine Cheerleaders support your vision, even if it’s different from their own.

• Set boundaries for ‘blind optimism’:

  
  

  If their encouragement feels disconnected from reality, gently redirect the conversation. Let them know what kind of support you need—cheering rooted in truth.

Skills to Appreciate Commentators

Commentators offer an outside perspective. They’re not always focused on you specifically, but their observations can sometimes be a goldmine—if you know how to listen.

• Separate the personal from the general:

  
  

  Commentators may not always deliver feedback in the most sensitive way, but that doesn’t mean it’s not valuable. Try to extract the useful insights while letting go of anything that feels overly critical or irrelevant.

• Ask for clarification:

  
  

  If their comments spark confusion, don’t be afraid to ask questions. A simple, "What do you mean by that?" can help you discern whether they’re offering helpful advice or just commentary for the sake of it.

• Don’t let their tone dictate your reaction:

  
  

  A neutral comment delivered harshly doesn’t mean the insight itself isn’t worth considering. Practice focusing on the content, not the delivery.

How to Filter Out Critics

Critics are the wild cards of your support system. Unlike Commentators, they’re actively working against your success—whether consciously or unconsciously. Here’s how to filter out their negativity:

• Recognize projection:

  
  

  Many Critics are projecting their own insecurities onto you. When someone tells you, "That’s impossible," they might really be saying, "I couldn’t do that." Learn to separate their limitations from your possibilities.

• Keep a healthy distance:

  
  

  It’s okay to set boundaries with Critics. If their negativity is draining your energy, limit how much time you spend engaging with them.

• Use their feedback strategically:

  
  

  Occasionally, Critics might point out something you can improve—albeit in a less-than-helpful way. Extract the valuable insight and leave the rest behind.

Building Your Dream Team

Ultimately, your success depends on the people you surround yourself with. Here’s how to make sure your team works for you:

• Diversify your support system:

  
  

  No one person can play every role. Surround yourself with Cheerleaders for emotional encouragement, Coaches for strategic growth, and Commentators for occasional reality checks.

• Evaluate regularly:

  
  

  Relationships evolve, and so do your needs. Take time to assess who’s in your corner and whether their role still fits your goals.

• Be your own biggest advocate:

  
  

  At the end of the day, your dreams are yours. While your support system plays a crucial role, don’t forget to trust yourself and take the lead in your own journey.

Building a team that supports and challenges you is one of the most important investments you can make. Who’s in your corner, and how are they shaping your story? Start reflecting, and don’t forget to subscribe to Glass Houses and Ivory Towers for more conversations like this.